Brothers

So I think I have mentioned my brothers briefly in previous posts. However, they are both such strange, unusual and interesting specimens of the male species, that I feel as though they may deserve a larger mentioning. They are both younger than me, and they are both complelely different than I am. They both know I am blogging, and their responses to my recent douchebag list are as follows:
Brother #1: "Sister, this is f*cking hilarious. You're totally weird."
Brother #2: "I'm concerned. I think your douchebag list is describing me."

So, I'm not sure why, but both of my brothers are single too. That was sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it. But they seem to have no shortage of girls on hand. It's quite disgusting. But after a conversation with brother #2 today, it got me thinking... and it really made me realize something: Men are stupid. I know I should have realized this some time about 14 years ago (whatever, I'm a little slow), but it really resonated with me today. And I don't mean stupid in a mean way, just stupid as in THEY DON'T GET IT. They are just as confused as we are. We all play games. They are mean to us to get us to like them. They don't call back to keep us wanting more. You get the point.

So my two major learnings from my conversation with brother #2 are:

#1: I will play no games. If I don't like someone, I will tell them. If I do like them, I will tell them. I will return phone calls. I will be myself. I will be respectful and polite at all times (no matter what kind of Norberts of MILFhunters I encounter), I will not pretend to be something I am not in hopes that someone will like me more. And most importantly, I will hope that by leading by example, I will attract people of the same nature. Kind of a tall order, hey?

#2. Maybe I need to stop being such a stick in the mud and use some of their tactics. I mean, brother #2 has three dates this weekend with three different girls. He says there's no better way to get to know what you really want in a partner. He says, "it's all about options." He also thinks the zombies are about to invade, so maybe I should be careful about how seriously I take his advice.

Regardless, brothers are awesome. I think having men in your life is important. Having strong male figures to look up to is so valuable. Guy friends are great (except when you're cursed like I am, and they fall in love with you), and having brothers and dads who are honest and upfront is incredible. And knowing that they own firearms and will hunt down any asshole that tries to hurt me, break their legs and leave them wishing they never laid a finger on me is kind of reassuring.

They bring me back down to earth, provide those sometimes harsh doses of reality, and they keep me normal.
But really how normal could I be with brothers who fulfill almost all of the douchebag requirements?

Yikes.