Warning

I can't believe I am actually using the word "douchebag," as it is one of my most despised words in the english language. However, I feel as though my limited experience with online dating has really exposed me to a whole new realm of weirdos, assholes, pr*cks, and yes, douchebags. So I feel the need to share. Ladies, if you are seeing a man who fits into any of the following descriptions, you know what to do. Men, if one or more of the following desrcibes you, STOP. Or you may be single forever, talking about how many girls you've landed when you're 80... when you really haven't landed anything but a bad case of Erectile Dysfunction.

10 Signs You Are a Complete Douchebag

10. You liberally spray yourself with Axe Body Spray before dates. And you’re 30. Contrary to some amazing marketing tactics, there is no so-called Axe Effect from dousing yourself in this disgusting concoction. It’s going to take more than a stinky spray on deodorant to get you laid, or even get you a girlfriend.

9. You start bar fights over the best brand of protein powder. Or you start fights in general. This is not attractive, gentlemen.

8. The wallpaper or screensaver on your computer or cell phone is a naked girl. Grow up.

7. You wear Ed Hardy shirts, sunglasses at night or own anything that is bedazzled. Enough said.

6. You only watch UFC or wrestling.

5. You greet people by saying ‘sup’, or end conversations, emails, or messages with ‘peace’. Or you think proper english includes abbreviations such as 'def,' 'poss,' 'hella,' etc.

4. Your car makes more exhaust noise than a lawn mower on concrete OR you have testicles hanging off the back of your over-sized truck. I have a real problem with those testicles.

3. Your profile photo on facebook, myspace, or match.com is one of the following: the dreaded duck face (half-kiss/half-smirk atrocity), the shirtless picture taken in the bathroom mirror with your cell phone camera, any pose with your collar popped, or the less offensive but equally lame peace sign. This is about as stupid as it gets.

2. You loudly hock your spit on the sidewalk, allow doors to slam on the person walking behind you and act like a complete jerk to service staff – that makes you a douchebag PLUS an asshole. Good job. Do you want a gold star?

1. You treat girls like shit. The ultimate douche indicator.